第二次再见 <> The 2nd Goodbye - Part 2

** 我爸常对我说, 凡事留一线, 日后好相见. 做了皇帝, 不要赶尽杀绝那些曾得罪, 批评你的人, 应该以德让他们顺服. 敢批评你的人, 才是让你不断鞭策自己的良伴... **





第一次的再见, 说的很仓促, 带有尚着血的心, 在大家都忙着为自己找出路的时候, 默然离开了. 临走前, 我非常保留地, 没留下我的不满, 反而留下我的自制武器, 让他人使用. 我爸常对我说, 凡事留一线, 日后好相见. 做了皇帝, 不要赶尽杀绝那些曾得罪, 批评你的人, 应该以德让他们顺服. 敢批评你的人, 才是让你不断鞭策自己的良伴. 我深信我爸是言行一致的, 无论我妈如何的批评, 叫骂他, 他们还是一起度过了那三十个年头.



@ 这是我爱上 V 的其中一个原因, 她无惧地批评我的弱点. V, 山并不好移, 但也会有天被移动的. 别放弃哦! @



道别是为了另一次的重逢. 很无奈的, 我带着疲惫的心, 走了回头路. 这次我背着即将要跨州, 抵受两地相思的痛苦的心情, 踏入那熟悉的大门. 背后有多少的闲言闲语, 我关不了, 也无力理会. 我的路, 由我选择, 我也会为之负责.



那熟悉的办公室, 少了很多熟识的面孔, 多了份陌生感. 有了年轻一辈的干劲, 却不少了年长一辈的惆怅. 非常欣慰的, 我的一班死党, 仍呆在那. 四大天王, 重组了.



这其间, 不少的朋友一个又一个的离开, 道别已成了常事. 握了握手, 闲话两句, 又少了一个队友. 道别电邮, 午餐, 晚会马不停蹄的给你钱包好看. 就象医生似的, 看多了那掏心痛苦的生死离别, 麻木了, 眼泪也不掉一滴, 宣布死亡时间.



我们学会了如何处理离别, 不再是那伤心的心情, 诚心地递上那祝福, 愿你们的远走高飞是安全的. 朋友们, 我们都有离别的时候. 没有离别, 就没有了下一次的相遇. 别了!



-----------------------------------------------------------*****english version

The first goodbye, it expressed in a hurry way, I was leaving with a bleeding heart while everyone is busy looking for their next chapter, re-planning their future. I was leaving with giving good comments to HR, to the company; do not express any of my dissatisfactions, in the mean time, I left my owned made weapon to my colleague to ease their job. A message from my dad, “even you became the king one day, you can’t kill those who have been complaining you, hurt you before. Just because they might be your “shore-light”, you need their critics to improve yourself.” I believe my dad practiced it. No matter how my mom criticizes him, they are still staying together more than 30years.

@ This is one of the reasons that I love Vivien, she never afraid to criticize me, complaint about my weakness. Vivien, to move a mountain is not easy, but if you not give-up, pushing it every single day, it finally will move anyway, someday. Keep it up. @

Leaving is to generate the next meeting. I came back to this familiar doorstep, with a tired heart. I understand my move will make me surfer, I can’t care too much of what others people talking behind me. This is my way, I have the right to choose it, and I will definitely responsible on any consequents.

A familiar office had missing those familiar faces, adding with strangers. Faithfully, I still have my old buddies, waiting for me there. The 4 kings of kingdom are finally reunion.

Friends are leaving one by one in this office. We hold each other, asking some “standard questions” (where do you go?). Farewell email, lunch, night clubs parties ready to fill-up all your days. Our life is just like a doctor, facing death of their patient too frequent, end-up, they start to become numb when facing the death of someone.

On the 2nd goodbye, we learnt. We know how to handle the sadness in our heart, giving away our blessing to them, wishing have a safer and brighter working life ahead. My dear friends, there will be always separation, and only separation, enable the 2^nd meet-up. Say no words, goodbye!

第二次再见 <> The 2nd Goodbye - Part 1

** 我们在不同的人生阶段, 需要不同的朋友扶持. 小学,我们需要肺气量大的小朋友陪我们... **

我曾经很坚决, 很确定的, 以为自己找到了更好的出路, 信心满满地和我一班好友招了招手, 说了再见, 后会有期.

第一次说再见的时候, 非常伤心; 再说，要洒脱地放下一段友谊, 并不是我所能轻易办到的. 如果说工作只为了养活, 我并不同意. 往往我们基于工作的所需, 在一伙儿里头投下了感情, 结下了巩固的友谊, 以让一个又一个的自已浮上了水面; 同时，我们也渐渐的开始忘却了那一班在大学里陪你一同逃课, 一起敖夜赶功课的舍友. 当你遇到了同样的情况, 别怪自己, 这是人之常情.

我们在不同的人生阶段, 需要不同的朋友扶持. 小学,我们需要肺气量大的小朋友陪我们东奔西跑; 到了中学, 我们都希望认识所有漂亮的异性朋友; 想要在大学轻松学习的, 我们不能少了功课好, 又无怨无悔让我们抄个痛快的良友; 到了社会工作, 能一起喝一喝酒, 倾听我们工作上的怨言的, 会是我们的知心友.

有分别的地方只是我们鲜少在大学结怨; 但在工作上却结下了那虚而不实的怨气. 何以见的? 很容易的, 当一个人要离职的时候, 握了握手, 化敌为友, 所有的怨气, 也会随之散去.

我曾经也痛恨一个人, 他善于取他人功劳, 当自己的. 我也差点儿被他气的想换职. 他不久后也另谋高就去了. 临别时, 我们 握了握手, 他告诉我, 世间险恶, 强肉弱食, 只有狮子能在丛林站得住脚, 路上可能遍布尸体, 但也顾不了. 人不为己, 天诛地灭. 我不怪他, 他言之有理.

很幸运的, 我在工作上认识了一班好友. 他们不曾埋怨我在他们的午餐时间占一位席, 大家一同从北半球, 聊到南半球; 从交换旅游经验, 到交换那包菜的另类用法. 我们无所不谈. 偶尔有某某朋友, 不断的 “放飞机”, 我们都原谅 “她”. 虽然忠言逆耳, 我们仍苦苦劝告 “她” 别为了工作, 冷落了丈夫……

<续>
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There has been time I was very firm, and assure, think of I found a better future, sayonara to my dear colleagues. I filled with full of confidence, and say “goodbye, my friend, we will definitely meet again somewhere, some else”.

The first time when I expressed my goodbye to my colleagues, I was very sad. No matter how strong is a man, I believe there is no one there able to let go their built friendly with an easy hand-shake, neither me. If you said, we work because we earned some “rice”, I am totally disagree with it. We always (maybe we don’t expect to be), we made friend while we are working. The more you invest into a relationship; it will definitely change to friendship. At the mean time, you will start to forget those friends who you met them in university; those fellows skipped classes, and worked together with you on the assignment until late of the night. When you come across this situation, don’t blame yourself, this is human nature.

We need difference batches of friends when we reached different stages of life. In primary, We want to play, we need some naughty children to run around the football field with us. By reached secondary, we changed our taste, we wish we can get to know better on every single "leng lui" in the school. Smart and "Kind" students who willingly lending their assignments to us for "photocopy", definitely will be recruited as friends/gangs in college/university life. when we came out to work like a sheep in a deep jungle, we need some friends/colleague to drink beers together with us, sharing our blame on bosses.

Of course, there is a big difference to face when we came out to work, it is we never made enemy in study life, but we did it in working life. But these enemies will not lasting for long, normally our enemies will become our friends once they resigned from their job. There is no forever enemy, but there is friendship last forever.

I had such an experience. I hate a person in my working life, he used to take away others colleague accomplishment, show it to management and pretend it is him. I was almost resigned because of him. After several months later, he resigned from his job. In the last meeting with him, he told me, working life like a jungle, only the strongest will be survive. When you are on your way to the mountain, do not look back, because there may be a lot of death bodies on the road. You can’t care so much. I didn’t blame him on what he done, doesn’t mean I agreed with him, but he spells the truth of working life.

I am very lucky; I get to know some true friends during my working life. They never blame me to get involved in their life, on their lunch. We never stopped exchange our life experience, we finally knew the “special usage of cabbage” from someone. Although, we always have someone always “FFK”, but we forgive her; we always never give-up on giving lecture to “her” not to keep working until late of the night. “Jason” always there to punish those women, who worked late.

To be continued…

七年之痒

当每个人都在网上看着恐怖组织的飞机如何撞上美国大楼, 唉声四起的时候; 那就是我与V开始一起写下我们的另一页. 那就是 在 2001 年 9 月11 日.

要维持一段七年的感情并不是容易的事, 更何况是一段爱情. 但是我们确实的做到了.

一个工程系的, 一个工商系的, 靠着彼此对"下乡服务" 的热诚, 而有机会碰面, 从相识到相爱.
还记得为了参与这活动, 我剪掉我的一头长发, 自荐参与这活动. 我直认不误我是相当静的男生,
一个能让我自荐的动作, 该是中了爱神的"箭"吧...

缘分, 让我第一眼见到她, 就已认定了"她"是我的"Target". 需要慎重申明这并不是我参与这活动的目的. 我是真只想为这活动付出, 因为我在这之前已有的筹备下乡活动的经验.

我们并没有很刻骨铭心的开始, 只有靠着"试一试"的勇气, 两个人, 战战兢兢的步上相爱的路程.

这段路上, 有着我们的泪, 也有我们的开心的笑容; 也留下下我们争吵的痕迹.

记得自从我们在一起后, 我在大学的成绩也不停的进步, 而到后来让让我免了一笔为了学业而留下的災. 这是她给我的运气. 也不会忘记在我失去信心, 她的安抚, 让我再站起来.
她果断的决定, 让不时拿捏不定的我有了方向. (她也是我可靠"的方向盘).

原谅我不时的大男人主义, 身为大哥的我, 必需备有这特征, 以便处理家里大小事务.
原谅我不时的酒后大睡/呕吐, 这是我在朋友面前玩的开的一面,
原谅我不时给予妳 "FYI"的选择,
也原谅我不断拒绝妳要去的 "Satay Celup", 因为我并不大爱吃.

让我从一个不吃 sushi 的人, 变成会建议在情人节吃sushi大餐的人;
我也不甘示弱让妳变成爱吃原味KFC 的人.
我在想, 妳何时才会爱上咖啡呢? 妳知道的, 咖啡是我的心头爱.

也不少了我俩的共同爱好, 不约而同的爱吃海鲜, 爱去 "Bunga Raya", 排排坐, 吃 "lala".


现在, 我们有了属于我俩的安乐窝, 里头有着我们彼此认同的一切. 从装修到家具, 都是我们俩点头才能进行.


这一路走来, 都需要大家不断接纳对方的一切, 好的, 坏的, 才能到达七年之痒这一段.
朋友都说, "七年之痒" 是一段感情的危机. 我觉得那是感情升级的时段.

V, 谢谢妳给我的一切一切, 我们会一起实现妳对爱情的瞳憬, 老来手牵手, 坐着摇椅椅慢慢摇, 实现那最浪漫的故事.

Happy Anniversary.